Dating and relationships – energizing or draining?

Part 2 (long over due)

Long Flight and a friendly Samaritan

After two brief stopovers in Chicago, and Miami, I arrived in Cali, Columbia 14 hrs later, after leaving my home town. I met an interesting local guy on the last segment of the flight, who turned out to have businesses in both Miami, and Cali. He was born and raised in Cali, and seemed like a reasonably honest person. I decided to confide in him. He applauded me for taking such a risk, but then warned me about the dangers of meeting these Columbian women. He stated that many of them have a reputation for using men, especially men from affluent nations like the USA, etc. I described my own concerns while agreeing with his caution. He was nice enough to offer me a place to stay, and gave me his contact info if this girl turned out to be one of those women. He then waited for me in the airport when it turned out that my baggage had been lost, and I had to put in a claim with my broken Spanish. Not a good start! I saw him as I went through the exit to the outside (no indoor waiting area). I looked around in a crowded area, and saw her. This kind gentleman came over with his 10 yo son and I introduced him to Sofia.

Seeing her in Person!


She was wearing hi-heels, and had a lot of makeup on (made her look different then her pics like the one above). She seemed about 5’10 – 5’11” in her 4 inch heels. She had a cab waiting for us. He seemed to know her and was waiting beside her. We walked up to the cab and got in after explaining where the hotel is that I had booked. It was about 9pm, and dark out. Sofia tried to tell me that I needed to pay the cab fare as she had paid for it on the way to the airport. I had no problem with this. She explained that this cab was the only cab she used, as street taxi’s could not always be trusted (armed guards on every street corner). The taxi drove through busy downtown streets like he was in the race of his life. The cab was so small my knees felt cramped, and I must have banged my head on the head rest in front of me 5-6 times (sudden braking). We arrived at the Radisson which turned out to be a very nice hotel with a pool and pool side food service (black and white). We had to quickly drive to Sofia’s home which was only a 5 minute drive away, as she did not have proper ID to be allowed to visit with me in my room. She lived in an interesting neighbourhood or “the nice part of town” as she said. Every home was so pressed together that it seemed more like row housing. Every home at bars over all the windows, and seven foot metal gates that were padlocked. Sofia told me to wait in the taxi, and to keep window up as she did not want her sister to see me. Her sister, according to Sofia, was quite a difficult person and was to be avoided by me. She only took about 5 minutes.
Finally we were in my hotel room, and Sofia brought a bottle of wine to toast my arrival. After a few glasses, I was making an effort to have her share in a devotional with me. This was something important and since we were to have such a compressed visit, I wanted to try this out with her. She seemed interested. However, before we finished it we ended up in each others arms kissing. This was ok, and very validating for me. She was a very beautiful woman. After some cuddle time, we lost control. She seemed so excited and pleased with me, that she stated, “I can’t help it”, and proceeded to take her top completely off. Things went downhill from here, and she stayed the night.

Shopping – sight seeing – my proposal!
We ended up shopping the next day for clothes as I had nothing to change into. We were to go swimming in the pool after this, but we had to stop by her place to get her swim suit, as well as buy one for me. She complained about the heat more than I did. We enjoyed a breakfast brunch beside the pool before we left, which was quite nice (food quality, and presentation). The whole weekend seemed to go quite well, and we saw many things together, and ate at several nice restaurants. By the end of the trip I was very direct, and felt like she was looking out for my best interests (telling me not to tip so much, etc), and told her that I would like to continue pursuing her in this relationship context. We confessed to God about getting carried away regarding the physical intimacy. she seemed quite happy with this ending to our whirlwind trip. I gave her money for her cab to get home from the hotel at 5 am in the morning, and then left for my plane. My bags had been located and returned the night before (a little late). The ride home was long but seemed to go as well as one could expect for going through customs twice. I wasn’t the first guy who had done this apparently!

Future Planning!
I contacted Sofia via Skype soon after arriving home, and we talked several times before announced that I would return again for spring break ( a week this time). My plan was that if this went well, I would arrange to have her flown to my hometown to meet my family and friends. She had already lived in Illinois, near Chicago when she was first married, but returned home with her young daughter after things fell apart. Sofia was very excited it seemed to hear that I was planning to return so soon. A lot of our discussions focused on understanding a “grace” perspective of the bible, as she had been raised Catholic, but was now attending or listening to an evangelical/charismatic type preacher in Columbia (“Avivamiento Church”). He seemed to have good theology, but I had only listen to one message on his website, and had read what was in English to understand some of his ideology. My own pastor had heard of this preacher, and gave him a thumbs up.  I was starting to feel quite optimistic that this whole adventure may have the desired ending I have been looking for my whole life. Stay tuned for part 3.

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